How to deal with sharing holidays?

My side of the family (9 members) is close. We enjoy family traditions, we talk to each other on the phone often, we get together now and then for birthdays, anniversaries and school plays. Holidays are our primary time though. No exceptions.





My husband's side of the family (25-30) gets together for the SAME events, PLUS anything remotely worthy of celebration- (someone loses a tooth, church fundraisers, free burger day at McD's, etc.), if you catch my drift. Just out of the blue togetherness.





Problem? The holidays are my side's PRIMARY time to get together- otherwise it's very limited. We spend so much extracurricular time together, I just don't make them priority. Not that I don't want to spend any time with them, but we already do SOOO much with them, and I don't see anything wrong with going a little later.





We can't alternate every year, cuz they still see us sooo much, and we are all MY side fo the family has- we ARE the party when we're at my fam!





I'm really sad about it!

How to deal with sharing holidays?
I totally feel your pain. I can't wait to see the suggestions. I've coped by insulating myself from both sides (I have a husband and 3 kids) and creating my own traditions, then trying to see them on days without so much hype or for after dinner dessert instead of the whole shebang. It sucks because I'm starting to get crap about it and even worse, they are now orchestrating get togethers that seem to hinge on my participation.
Reply:You have to take turns with your husband's family. That is the only fair thing to do. How would you feel if he wanted to just do things with HIS family and exclude yours? How about this:


4th of July = his


Thanksgiving = yours


Christmas = his


Easter = yours


Then switch it the next year.
Reply:invite everybody over to your place as when u married eachither so do ur families